Family Spends All Day Trying to Kill Themselves

Family Tries to Kill Themsevles

The recent activity of the Jones family has their neighbors concerned.. The Jones seem to have it all.. 2 new SUV’s, a Jeep, a Boat, and a Pop-up RV, but 3 neighbors have called 911 in the past 2 weeks reporting they are trying to kill themselves.. Rita, the neighbor from across the street says, “Mr. and Mrs. Jones each smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and the house is full of second hand smoke.. And, they drive that jeep around at 90 miles an hour with no seat belts.. On top of that, they bring home fast food every night for the family! And, I never see any of them exercising.. They just watch sports on TV all night while their kids play video games.” When Rita and the other neighbors expressed their concern to the 911 operators, the operators agreed.. “Yes, this is actually a legal suicide attempt and a legal attempted murder on their children.. There’s nothing we can do.” Given this response, Rita took matters into her own hands.. She confronted the Jones family. Their response? “We are a family, who like the majority of Americans, believe in fate. We are gonna die when we die. God has already determined out death dates, so, we just live day-to-day, urge-to-urge.” Given this response, Rita has given up and decided to let natural selection take care of the issue.

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